I think the phrase “the meadows” makes “memory” concrete somewhat. So, to answer your question — as long as you try to make an abstraction concrete for readers to grasp, then it may be ok.
But then again, there’s really no formula for poetry. So it’s really how you work it out.
i like the image…naisip nko paano mag-isip ato brain?how come we see memories so suddenly?it is in the wind?anyway,the speaker is mejo pamati kay nkasulti xa ug ingon ana.confident xa na xa ang “wind blowing softly,in the meadows of your memory”…scary pud xa gamay…=)
ikaw acong third nahatagan og comment.
1st kae, then josh.
i really like hearing your poems.
even though not stated.. i can hear what the visual image is conveying.
take yours for example, mars, “wind blowing softy”.. wind whispering, singing, telling you a story.
the story tell you… (to be continued)
I can’t imagine a meadow without
any element of air in it…
But here, you are not only air–you are wind!
And you are blowing… How pathetic is this someone
bearing you in his/her mind! Or is s/he not?
Oh, I almost forgot, softly man di-ay… But then you have
that catch in the first line… That word “blow”, for me,
means that signified blow, as in blow! Ironic, good…
Freud, Freud… the unconscious, right? “blowing softly…” sounds like repressed, isn’t it?
This is how I see it… There’s a lot in the poem, you see, and this is the idea that attracted me most…
I can’t imagine a meadow without
any element of air in it…
But here, you are not only air–you are wind!
And you are blowing… How pathetic is this someone
bearing you in his/her mind! Or is s/he not?
Oh, I almost forgot, softly man di-ay… But then you have
that catch in the first line… That word “blow”, for me,
means that signified blow, as in blow! Ironic, good…
Freud, Freud… the unconscious, right? “blowing softly…” sounds like repressed, isn’t it?
This is how I see it… There’s a lot in the poem, you see; this is the idea that attracted me most…
yowh, this is an informal blog where i just dump cerebral fecal matter…
for my CW120 blog, click on my name…
I think the phrase “the meadows” makes “memory” concrete somewhat. So, to answer your question — as long as you try to make an abstraction concrete for readers to grasp, then it may be ok.
But then again, there’s really no formula for poetry. So it’s really how you work it out.
ghost town? humm-humm.
ma-imagine nako kay ghost town? humm-humm.
pero meadows gani..humm-humm.
Like why is the title that long?
i get the image but it does not somehow leap to me. but its good, as if it’s a girl who wrote it.
sooo melodramatic..!
is the wind here somewhat like
a phantom?heheh kawawa naman xa(speaker),
piercing chill lang xa sa babae..
sooo melodramatic..!
is the wind here somewhat like
a phantom?heheh kawawa naman xa(speaker),
piercing chill lang xa sa babae..=(
Okay man pud diay xa marius kung isipon.–krisza ni
i like the image…naisip nko paano mag-isip ato brain?how come we see memories so suddenly?it is in the wind?anyway,the speaker is mejo pamati kay nkasulti xa ug ingon ana.confident xa na xa ang “wind blowing softly,in the meadows of your memory”…scary pud xa gamay…=)
ikaw acong third nahatagan og comment.
1st kae, then josh.
i really like hearing your poems.
even though not stated.. i can hear what the visual image is conveying.
take yours for example, mars, “wind blowing softy”.. wind whispering, singing, telling you a story.
the story tell you… (to be continued)
If I were to paraphrase, it would be:
YOU CAN’T GET RID OF ME(!)
I can’t imagine a meadow without
any element of air in it…
But here, you are not only air–you are wind!
And you are blowing… How pathetic is this someone
bearing you in his/her mind! Or is s/he not?
Oh, I almost forgot, softly man di-ay… But then you have
that catch in the first line… That word “blow”, for me,
means that signified blow, as in blow! Ironic, good…
Freud, Freud… the unconscious, right? “blowing softly…” sounds like repressed, isn’t it?
This is how I see it… There’s a lot in the poem, you see, and this is the idea that attracted me most…
If I were to paraphrase, it would be:
YOU CAN’T GET RID OF ME(!)
I can’t imagine a meadow without
any element of air in it…
But here, you are not only air–you are wind!
And you are blowing… How pathetic is this someone
bearing you in his/her mind! Or is s/he not?
Oh, I almost forgot, softly man di-ay… But then you have
that catch in the first line… That word “blow”, for me,
means that signified blow, as in blow! Ironic, good…
Freud, Freud… the unconscious, right? “blowing softly…” sounds like repressed, isn’t it?
This is how I see it… There’s a lot in the poem, you see; this is the idea that attracted me most…
ok, gaiz, there seems to be a problem in my links, anyway, my site is http://kornfleik.wordpress.com/
krisza, what!? so kung babae muhimo, good na!? ur so sexist! hehehe…
wooossshhh…
i heard it