Module VII.

/*The sight of the old woman triggers a rush of Ghrelin into the CPU. Flashbacks play in his visual sensor, scene by scene dating back to a period when it spent most of its time with its maternal unit. It’s an involuntary process. We will try to open the allocated memories of SAIKOW_08.*/

Proceeding to hard-drive…

A problem has occured: hormone “ghrelin” overriding system…

Rerouting…

Rerouting complete…

Accessed into hard-drive…

Scanning addresses…

Viewing allocated memory…

<clear screen>

Life is sweeter when you’re closer to the things you need. This is one realization that I, well, realized while I was sitting inside a jeepney one day.

There was this old woman, probably in her late fifties, carrying a bag of groceries. Inside her bag, [yes, i saw the things inside her bag, it was one of those translucent grocery bags…] I found a box of powdered milk, cans of corned beef, probably a kilo of rice, and two packs of potato chips.

Being the curious person that I am, I imagined what kind of family this old woman was coming home to. And I imagined the typical “hirap sa buhay” family with a minimum number of three children and a budget that only includes food for the whole day. And it’s not just a normal serving of food, it’s the SUPER-ECONO serving of food. It wasn’t really that hard to imagine. Well, in my case, since I came from that type of living.

Then, I thought of my living now-a-days – financially stable and, basically, better than, from my point of view, the way we lived before. Honestly, I have nothing against the way I’m living now. I like it, in fact. It’s not really heaven, but, thankfully, it’s also not hell. We get by and sometimes we would have extra money to get luxuries of life. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against the luxuries in life, I admit, they make me happy. But, why is it that there are some memories, that date back long before we were financially stable, that make me happier inside?

Take this one memory for instance: I remember the days when I was still young and I always went with my mother to the grocery section of JS Gaisano. My father used to work almost everyday those days and he would always entrust mom to me. [like I could really protect her? I was, like, eight years old, SHE would be the one protecting me] I would be the one pushing the cart, getting the items [if i could reach them…] she needed, and doing a bunch of other things. I guess you could say that I was ONCE a pretty good boy. Whenever I remember myself being that little boy, I’d feel this warm feeling inside. Like I actually DID something with my life. And that makes me feel contented.

Then, there’s this memory that I look back at whenever my family and I decide to celebrate over some occasion: The times when we were still staying in Cotabato City. I could remember that one time when I won [I DID win, well, if my memory serves me right…] a speech contest and my parents decided to celebrate in one fast food joint. It wasnt that big a place, it wasnt even that swell a place, it was like a modern day karinderya. There, we used to order spaghetti and everyone would be in their festive mood. Me, my parents, and my two sisters. Looking back, I could say that that was real celebtration. We celebrated over the event and not over the things we had at that given time.

Oh, and why would i forget the times when mom and I used to wait for dad to finish work? Yes, those times when mom and I would just sit in Rizal park and spend the day looking at people; watching them as they passed by; and whenever we got hungry, we would just buy a couple of hotcakes and juices from sidewalk vendors. We would eat and drink beneath the acacia trees and just wait until dad came out. Those days, I never felt the slightest hint of impatience. It was like i was treasuring every moment i had.

And the one memory that really makes me smile when i think about it, the “next time…” moments. I ask you, can you imagine a child wanting a toy? Well, of course, every normal child has a desire towards some kind of toy. [not sexually, you pervert] Question is, could you imagine a child keeping his/her cool if his/her parents told him/her “next time na lang, anak…”? Hard? Nah, not really. That was what my parents always told me, though not all the time. and im quite shocked that i didnt throw that much tantrums [cant really say that i NEVER threw tantrums, i WAS a child…] i must have been a REALLY good child, then.

My point is, the memories that make me happy are those when i didnt have that much luxuries in life. Sad thing is, i cant imagine myself being like that anymore. i might have been spoiled or someting, i dont know. But, im not saying that having luxuries is bad, no. Maybe thats why i treasure those moments a lot, its because those times, i still knew what mattered.

I dunno, maybe its because i was too yung to realize that we were in deep financial problems. i dont know. But i can safely say that the old saying – the things you own WILL own you – is quite true, well, if you let them.

So, before you get spoiled, and if you already are, bear in mind that life is not necessarily sweeter when you’re far from the things you want; rather life is sweeter when you’re closer to the things you need.

<clear screen>

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~ by saikow on April 13, 2007.

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