Here’s the thing about writing, writers, and me:

I CURRENTLY [and by currently, i mean JUST NOW] hate <despise, or any other word that describes extreme hatred towards something> purple patching. This, my friends, is the act of using words which really aren’t that necessary to convey your message. Let me express my definition in this analogy [taken from Yas Ocampo]: you have a white shirt with lots of holes, you patch the holes using purple fabric. Result: mas obyus ang sira ng damit mo!

Parang ganyan na literature, ba. Yung, instead of saying “fucking bastard” you use “copulating male dog” or whatever. I know, I used a lot of purple patching before, hell, “subconsciously” I STILL do. And trust me, I hate them as much as I hate the others like them.

And heres the fucked up part: some people actually find beauty in them <my works. No, Im not self-centered, SOME really DO like them>. I mean, my previous works had, although obviously insignificant, MEANING in them. And heres a bunch of children parading around saying they idolize my works. I read their works and all I read were words and sentences that convey hate, darkness, suicide, and nothing more. Dammit, if you DID <or DO, for that matter> idolize my works, you would see that my works are not anchored solely on such standards. Words might appear that way, but read between the lines. Some lines that seem to come EMO are actually socially relevant <char…> and vice versa <wtf?>. But STILL, I hate my previous works, and some current ones.

A mentor once told me that most of my works <specially the latest ones-starting april of 2005> are juvey <juvenile> and hold nothing more than ramblings of a broken heart. Damn right, they are. EMO. Im not ashamed to be such, but GOD have mercy on my SOUL. I need not base ALL my works on it, right? I mean, I used to write about things that mattered as much as the matters of the heart. ie. abortion, prostitution, world domination, environmental deterioration, educational system, etc… Where is that saikow now!?

I need him more than ever. Im getting older, I dont want to build my name on the three letters of EMO. With all due respect, as stated above, being emo aint all bad.

Same goes to my music. I realize that I write more technical chord cycles with the piano than with the guitar. Guess I should give attention to my keyboards as much as Im giving attention to my six-strings <purple-patching, dammit, need to get this out of my system>. But licks, for jamming purposes, are f*cking awesome with the guitar.

Back to writing, so yeah, looking back, I realize that Im TOO emo <more than normal dose>, to purple-patchy, and uhm… what else could I say… oh yeah, eto pa pala…

To those who find ideas from my works, i.e. usage of gods and goddesses, Faust and Lovecraft and whatnot, please research on them before drawing ideas from my works. They have meanings and are not just creations of my mind. Though, some might say that gods and goddesses are fictitious.

Oh, yeah. Dapat nagsusulat rin ako ng tagalog o kaya bisaya. P*ta, Pilipino naman ako, bat di ko ginagamit ang salitang ginagamit ko noong bata pa ako. Peste, yawa na sistemang pang-paaral <HIGHSCHOOL, ha… HIGHSCHOOL…>. Mas nasanayan ko na tuloy ang wikang inggles. Kinahanglan magstart na ko write using bisaya at tagalog.

And yes, i realized my english grammar and spelling is slowly deteriorating. Thanks to Kate Paredes and Francelle Bagaforo sa pagtulong sa spelling at sa supply of new words.

Yes, I do hate my past works, but Im quite thankful for them. They were stepping stones for something far better. Without them, I wouldn’t realize that I could write better.


~ by saikow on May 8, 2007.

2 Responses to “WRITING”

  1. i only read the first two and the last three paragraphs of the entry. so forgive me if my comment is out of this world.haha.

    i also do not like euphemisms/ sugar coating and jabberwockies. i have a college classmate who was a jabberwock. when we were in first year, we were very impressed with her. but when we got older (after one sem.hehe), we realized that she was just talking nonsense and her big words masked that fact.

    yes, you should write in filipino.

    ay nako. hindi ka nagiisa. ako sad di nako kabalo musulat. not that i’m a good writer. i never was. i like to think i am/ was an average writer. the only time became better in writing was when i was in creative writing with sir tim. hahay. that’s a looong time ago.

    hehe. yun lang.

  2. **forgive me if my commentS ARE out of this world. sorry mali.hehe

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