bay

preface…

[1937] child is 7 [20 si estrella noong ginawa niya ang story]

07[1937] = cebu
08[1938] = transfer to Malabon Normal School [grade 2] 7 years [japanese invasion]
14[1944] = hs [manila is liberated]
18[1948] = col
20[1950] = 4th yr college

Malabon Normal School

>first few days i got sick in that place, missed family
>never knew why sent here, mom says its good education
>missed family, specially brother
>dont trust men… specially so gentle, so kind air of suspicion
>describe relationship with brother [please, dont ever leave me…]
>be there on hated jeepney rides [smell of sweat and pomade]
>be there afraid of night… fear dark corners
>hated school, hectic, change sites
>shy, looked on feet
>i could hold myself, im a big girl
>eason, dont like to be proud,
>but others found me that way, only girl using pen, i used to love pencils, i even remember bugging someone for it…

>only Hs girl sleeping with light… fear dark corners
>HS, time pass, met friends
>became close to girls [so quick things happen in 4 years]
>manila liberated… [first time out with friends]
>hate it when men stare specially so gentle, so kind air of suspicion
>found myself in the cr for hours just putting soap over2 again… need to be presentable to friends when go out…

>college dreams began [knock gently on the door comes out walking feet, no body…]
>fell inlove with teacher [beautiful, so strong, ]
>had relationship with teacher [wanted her to hurt me]
>found out
>rant on school [Maryknoll Sisters, TRUTH: true to self? JUSTICE: euality? PEACE: loving relationships between humans?

INTEGRITY OF CREATION: care for the earth?]

>now [1950] mom sent me here in new york, thinks that this is a sickness

/*———————————————————–*/

Disordered Displacement

[A 20 year-old girl is lying on a couch and is directed to say whatever comes to mind.]

II.

III.

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~ by saikow on September 7, 2007.

2 Responses to “bay”

  1. II.

    When I finished primary schooling, I was immediately enrolled to the secondary school in Malabon Normal School. You can only imagine my frustration when I realized that after six years – yes, unlike most elementary schools in the Philippines, MNS offered grade seven – in that “convent,” I was to spend four more. Yes, I hated the idea, along with the shame of realizing that I was the only high school student sleeping with the lights on.

    Yes, I did sleep with the lights on. But, it’s not the darkness that I hate. Given the choice if I should sleep in total darkness or on a poorly lit room, I’d choose darkness. I dont like the darkness, but more do I despise the fact that there is light but enveloped in shadows. But, I was given the third choice of sleeping in a well-lit place, why not take that instead?

    Indeed, I hated the idea of

    >HS, time pass, met friends
    >became close to girls [so quick things happen in 4 years]
    >manila liberated… [first time out with friends]
    >hate it when men stare specially so gentle, so kind air of suspicion
    >found myself in the cr for hours just putting soap over2 again… need to be presentable to friends when go out…

  2. ung sa poster

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