There is a pain aimless in the air tonight
and it finds me
as I am thinking of you
I tighten my robe a bit
thinking this way I shall be closer
to what I suffer
closer still to all that shame
that once gathered arms against me
then I hum to myself the odd song
of the beggar maid to the storm
knowing that something terribly old and ancient
has been passed on to us by way of this air
we breathe
and it is not saying anything

What will I do with a fountain
of time
my silence
is a well without a drop of water

I can weep in the dark
weep and its silence will hear me
but it will close its eyes
it will not speak
the evening will tread on
quietly an old man

it will walk on without looking back
without seeing where its shadow
and I can say wait where
are you going

and I can think of all the places I can think of
I can think of walls walls walls
of walls behind which anything lurks

I can lock myself
in a closet full of clothes not my size
fill my pockets with dust
or take off my clothes and imagine
my skin is ice

and I will be standing here
where I am standing stepping on moments
that sharpen into hours like thorns
into my feet
the wound in my heart is deep

the pain does not answer to any name
where is the door
the window the door

I do not remember who you are
everything escapes from my hand
through the spaces between my fingers
into this nameless land

My life is woven out of water
noting stays and everything goes
my memory is a river
forever running its way out of history

I am nothing desired
I am nothing stopped
I come and go any time and any way
alone and ten times alone
I do not have a single breath to mourn for

And always I give out myself for souvenirs
each time passing for something else
for you and those like you
and what I am will be
what I will be for each one of you


~ by saikow on January 16, 2008.

14 Responses to “LILIA LOPEZ-CHUA”

  1. hello, Lilia. Ric Bastasa gave me your URL. This is a neat site. I had a fine time reading your poems. =)

  2. hello? why don’t you post your Open-end Quality poem? it’s nice… =)


  4. hi! can you post your poem open-end quality because we need it in our literature subject.

  5. better if you include the poem open-end quality.
    so much time and effort finding for that poem.
    much appreciated if you’ll post it. thanks

  6. hi Lilia? can you post your open-end quality? Cause’ i need it in my literature subject. Thanks. and God Bless

  7. hi Ms. Chua!! can we ask for your open-end quality poem here? if it’s just ok to you… we just need it for our literature subject….
    thanks in advance!!! πŸ™‚ GOD BLESS…

  8. hi! Lilia can we have your open end quality poem? We just really need it for our literature subject. Thank you πŸ™‚

  9. Yeah, Open and Equality pleeeaassse. I need it in my Literature assignment

  10. we really need it.. please… where can we find it.. it is our literature assignment also.. thank you

  11. Hello miss Lilian can I ask what is the meaning of your poem open-end quality?pls …. I badly need it bcoz my report it’s all about your poem

  12. hi! Lilia can we have your open end quality poem? We just really need it for our literature subject. Thank you πŸ™‚

  13. Lilia, do you remember me? MaryAnn? I was living in So California (Santa Monica), when I started corresponding with you. I drove up to SF to visit you and your sister once, in the late 1980’s, before I moved to Hawaii, where I live now. I would love to hear from you again. My email
    Aloha MA

  14. Hi. Can I have a copy of your poem Open-ended Quality. I need it for my report in literature. Thank you. πŸ™‚

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